Pekken 1
by trungkazama
Summary: Learn the true story of Tekken!(Based on a chapter from The Misadventures of Tekken)


Pekken 1 .. ?  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Tekken!  
  
Summary: A cheap spin off of a series of chapters from the Misadventures of Tekken! Kazuya bribes a company to make a series of movies called Pekken. The edited version that the audience saw that made it such an instant hit! Pekken 1, The Fellowship to Stop the Phantom Madness.  
  
Chapter 1: In a Galaxy Far Away  
  
Many years ago, in a galaxy not too far away, actually here in this galaxy, there was an evil man named Heihatchi Mishima. Actually let's back track! There once was a man named Jinpachi Mishima. He and his wife had a son named Heihatchi (the theory was that Jinpachi was stoned at the time). He raised the boy really well and he would show off his son (because the dude got really freaky hair) to everyone. One day Jinpachi showed off his son to his friend Wang Jinrey (survived for a long time to due an ancient Chinese trick and *a lot* of plastic surgery). When Heihatchi grew up he got married to a girl named Kazume (no relation to the Dead or Alive character Kazumi, due to copyright law ^-^) Of course, Jinpachi had gotten senile over the years and always mistaken Wang for a beautiful African American woman. Well Jinpachi didn't like any of the women Heihatchi dated, and Kazume was no different. He called her a skanky tramp but Heihatchi didn't care and married her. Soon afterwards he had a child named Kazuya (stone at the time once again) but sadly enough Kazume died during his pregnancy. (Tear)  
Well Heihatchi resented Kazuya, A LOT!!! So he would make him do house chores, and other forms of hard torture. Heihatchi home was voted for the best imprisonment camp in Japan for the last 6 years running. To piss of Kazuya Heihatchi had adopted a boy named Lee Choalan.  
  
Kazuya: My dad says I was a mistake.  
  
Lee: That is sad.  
  
Kazuya: Shut up did I ask you talk! *hits him the crotch* I'm surprised you felt pain down there!  
  
And that is how the relationship went on since then. Okay I'll get to the juicy part! One day while training (Lee wasn't there cause something about a broken nail) Heihatchi got really angry and tried to throw Kazuya off a cliff. Sadly though he picked up a complete stranger and through him down the cliff, Heihatchi tried again but he through down a deer. Obviously Heihatchi needed to fix his eye sight. So finally he takes hold of Kazuya and throws him down a mountain. Now Kazuya was all like, "EHHHHHHHHHH, OW" but then an evil presence came and said that he could give Kazuya a lifetime of Prozac if he sold his soul. Kazuya was angry he couldn't believe that he was dying and getting a pop-up ad from a cosmic being. The thing disappeared and there came a primitive form of him.  
  
Devil: Kazuya, I am the greatest of evil. Give me your soul and I will give you enough power to kill your father and get you a girlfriend.  
  
Kazuya: Is this girlfriend of mine hot?  
  
Devil: Well she is a tree hugger lady.  
  
Kazuya: I don't know then.  
  
Jun: Just make the damn deal so the story can go on!  
  
Kazuya: Um, who are you.  
  
Devil: Pay no attention to the woman!  
  
Kazuya: Eh sure, I have nothing better to do.  
  
back at the mansion*  
  
Heihatchi: Your not suppose to be alive.  
  
Kazuya: I'm just going to wash up and plan your death father!!! *evil laughter*  
  
Lee: Hey now do that laugh from that guy from the Ninja Turtles!  
  
Kazuya: Shut up! *a laser comes out of Kazuya forehead shooting Lee*  
  
Heihatchi: That is something you don't see everyday.  
  
AT THE NURSING HOME WITH JINPACHI AND WANG  
  
Jinpachi: Oh beautiful Maya my family has chosen the path of evil! Use your Amazon powers of that of Xena and stop my family! Wang: *_*  
  
Jinpachi: I don't have much time left , you must do this for me Maya!! *kisses Wang*  
  
Wang: UMM.. #-# !_! *Jinpachi faints and dies*  
  
AT THE MANSION  
  
Heihatchi: Alright kids, we're off to see grandpa!  
  
Lee :Yeah! Grandpa!!  
  
Kazuya: I will burn all your souls in the pits of the underworld.  
  
Heihatchi: Don't forget to wear a sweater Kazuya. Its cold.  
  
Kazuya: I don't feel anything!!! *shoots a laser at Lee*  
  
Lee: Ow Daddy!  
  
Heihatchi: What did I say about using your demonic power on your brother!  
  
Kazuya: Why do we have to visit Grandpa? He's old and scary and keeps calling Uncle Wang Maya.  
  
Lee: He calls me Elenor.  
  
Heihatchi: Just come on kids!  
  
DURING HIGHSCHOOL  
  
Mr. Principal Man: Mr. Heihatchi Mishima, is there something going on at home that is making Kazuya act this way?  
  
Heihatchi: Um Mr. What is your name?  
  
Mr. Principal Man: Um Principal Man.  
  
Heihatchi: Well I think he got possessed by the devil.  
  
Kazuya: I will soon make you devours your own bodies!!  
  
Heihatchi: SEE?  
  
REVIEW!!! 


End file.
